Sometimes the day just doesn't turn out the way you thought ...

"As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  From now on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:6-8 

We are all in shock. Rob was such a remarkable man and truly a gift to so many. We will miss him, but none more than you his family. I pray that God will be close to you in your grief. God is great! And we look forward to the day when we will all be together again, Rob cheering the boys on--and a big Happy Gram is posted on the pearly gates of Heaven.

Sincerely, The Young's--Linda, Chris, Chris and Ben

     This was what I wrote Saturday on the Care Pages site for my son's teacher/coach who died that day: losing an 8 month battle with cancer. The teacher, Rob, was a great guy. I don't think I have ever heard a complaint about him. He was a gym teacher in the elementary school and I remember my son Chris coming home in first grade waiving above his head a colorful piece of paper that said Happy Gram. All the kids in the class eventually got one--but he gave them on a day a particular kid really needed a boost, or on a day that a kid tried super hard. They, and he, meant the world to my sons. Without a doubt their favorite teacher; ever.

   So, how do you talk to your 11 and 13 year old about the death of a man who is the same age as their Dad; younger than me? How do you talk to two rather anxious boys about the separation of death when they have trouble being in the basement alone? Sure, they have both experienced the death of their cat, their grandfather and grandmother--but they were old, and had lived full lives--okay, we're not sure about the cat but it was a relief to not have him throwing up fur balls all day.

     I'm not sure how to talk to myself about it. I believe in a resurrection of the dead--but so many times we turn this into a denial of death. Things and people end--even good things and good people. We need to mourn and feel sad. Denial never solves anything. I guess I'll have to pray about this for a while. I don't have any easy answers. Aren't clergy supposed to have the answers in these types of situations?

     I don't. Its painful, senseless and we all have a barrage of feelings. And the truth is, we clergy are nothing if we're not human.

   The best we can do is what Rob was a clear example of :  hold tight to family, pray, cling to God and live life to the fullest knowing someday we all will follow the way of death.

"Eternal rest grant on to him oh Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen."